Do you see that image above? Yep, that was actually me a year & a half ago sitting in the ER because I swore I was developing asthma & having asthma attacks. The dr actually looked at me after asking about my home life, to which I simply replied, "I homeschool my 3 kids", & he gave me *that* look. That "dingdingding...we have a winner!" look. Really? Seriously? Well...it looks like I'm on that same road again. :/
I'm burnt out, done, throwing in the towel, & ready to walk out the door, down the road, & just. keep. going. Now, of course, I don't really mean that. But, with all of the stress of homeschooling, chores/cooking, bills, blogging, & just..LIFE...it's hard to not feel this way.
Now with this being my 8th year homeschooling, you would think I have all the answers & know exactly what I am doing. I don't & I don't think I, we, ever really will. Truth is, I feel like every year is the 1st year. Each year changes, each child grows older, & in turn, their learning styles seem to change. Don't get me wrong....I love homeschooling my kids but even if you absolutely love something, it doesn't mean that it will all be sparkles & rainbows.
So, this morning I woke up, laid in the bed, & sighed. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to start the day. I. am. exhausted. I would lay in bed all day, forget about school, let the kids fend for themselves, forget about planning & blogging & printing, forget about cleaning & laundry.....
So I pulled myself out of bed, made my coffee (which luckily I actually remembered to set up before bed last night!), opened my emails, & sitting right there in front of my face on my screen was exactly what I needed...an email from The Old Schoolhouse Magazine with an article by Deborah Wuehler, TOS Senior Editor called,"I Quit!".
I could not believe how perfectly timed this email was. I read the article with tears in my eyes feeling like this was written for ME. I know I have felt like this before & I have gotten through it & this was what I needed. Oh God, did I need this!
We all need to know that how we are feeling is "normal". Even though it doesn't sound very nice, we also like to see that others feel the same way & go/have gone through the same things. There are so many types of families & situations BUT we all have stress. We all worry that what we are doing isn't enough for our family & for ourselves. We put ourselves last until we get to this point where we are ready to explode. BUT WE GET THROUGH IT. Look for others for help, they won't know unless you tell them. Reach out to other homeschoolers even if it's just over the internet. We don't have to be face to face to feel the power of words of encouragement! And when you get out of this feeling of defeat, give those words of encouragement to those other moms, dads, grandparents, & caregivers who are struggling. Be their light in the darkness.
We can do this. We are strong. We were meant for this.
